The side effects of love

Love is a mysterious science that is yet to be fully explored; as a matter of fact, we ourselves are quasi unexplored beings that have not yet fully discovered who we are. Even in our relationships, there are unexplored caverns, and crevices that on occasions sip up and leak out undiscovered truths that were previously unknown. But one of the side effects of love is that it has a paralyzing effect on the mind which causes it to develop-mental cataracts and overlook these occasional leaks. Naturally, everyone has a blind spot but this blind spot tends to widen as we fall deeper and deeper in love, and give cover to the unfaithful actions, and dishonest intentions of those who are pretending to love us. Our minds and emotions are always searching for some kind of refreshment and at the beginning of our relationship, we often find ourselves inebriated with curiosity for those with who we have just entered into an intimate relationship. But it doesn’t matter how curious we are to fully know our new lover, there will always be an undiscovered side to this person. And this is also observed by Arthur Schopenhauer when he stated”…people are like the moon: they show you only one of their side…” Unfortunately, the unmet side of our lover is usually his or her dark and unflattering side, that he or she had intentionally hidden from us; but eventually, we always get to meet this side of our lover that we didn’t agree to enter into a relationship with. However, our lover doesn’t need to worry about this late introduction of his or her dark and unflattering side, because another side effect of love is that it tends to shorten the memory of the mind; and in doing so it misremembered all the lies, ill-treatments and unfaithful actions of our lover.

Although love can be experienced internally, it can only be expressed externally; yet most people seem to be more interested in how someone feels about them than how this person actually treats them. In fact, we don’t need someone to tell us how he or she feels about us in order to know how that person really feels about us; because actions are mirrors of thoughts and emotions, so there is no better way to know how someone feels about us than in the way in which that person treat and act toward us. And though lovable words are important and healthy in our relationship, they are only meant to be the mimicking shadows of lovable actions. But of all the side effects of love, I cannot think of any that is worst than losing oneself in love. There are too many of us that have lost our identity and individuality to the overpowering effect of love; we tend to lose the balance of self while we’re being mesmerized by it, which caused us to lean into our significant other too much until we have reduced ourselves to be only an extension of this person. It is important to realize that not because something is good doesn’t mean that it cannot cause us any harm; just look at the water, for instance, it is essential to life yet we can drown in it, and the fire is necessary for life but many have gotten burned and even died from its touch. And the same is true with love, it is important to all of us but the moment we lose ourselves in it, we will be suffocated by it; whatever we lose ourselves to will cause us to suffer. Love is not one size-fit reality; just as water takes on the shape of that which is holding it, love also takes on the shape of the character, personality, and past experiences of the person who is expressing it. So it is important for us to know the character, personality, and past experiences of someone before we enter into a relationship with this person; by doing so we can avoid many of the side effects of love. 


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