The first gift of a child is not the house that he will call home, it is not the crib that he will lie in, nor the toys that are dangling above his crib. The first gift that a mother can give to a child is a father that will provide, protect, and teach that child and vice versa. But too often this gift is missing from the lives of the children that are born into our society; they carry the DNA of men whose faces they have never seen. Their fears will never be quelled by the courage of a father nor their tears be dried by the love of a concerning one. Though I do not have a child on my own, I often reminisced on my misguided childhood and wish that the man that I am today was the father of the child I was yesterday. I have come to resent men who have derelict their duties as fathers and selfishly put the onerous of their fathering responsibilities on the women who are already performing their maternal duties. Being a bad or an estranged father is one of the worst things a man can be. I have never seen a man abandoned an expensive car, house, or anything of luxury in life without any concern of what might come of them; yet some men abandoned something as precious as life without even having a second thought. To all the missing fathers, I have to ask; how can you have your full without knowing when was the last time your child had a meal, or go to sleep without knowing the whereabouts or safety of this fragile life? A man cannot abandon his child without also abandoning his manhood, so the moment he derelict on his fatherly duties, in that very moment he emasculated himself and castrated his manhood.
Every child has a biological father but not every child has an actually one; many are a father in name only, not in deeds. Historically speaking, being a father was the crown jewel of manhood, it was an honor, pride, and joy for a man to be the provider, protector, and teacher of his child; and he would have found it very offensive if another tried to intrude on these duties. But as the government became more paternalistic by being more of a provider, protector, and teacher; some men gladly relinquished their paternal duties to Uncle Sam. By relinquishing their roles as teachers and given this responsibility solely to schools, they have cheated themselves of one of the most intimate things in life — teaching. Teaching is mental intimacy that creates a bond between parents and their child. Whenever a man teaches his child anything, he is leaving his mental imprint on that child, and he or she will carry these teachings into manhood or womanhood. And every time a child utilized what he was taught, he will remember the person who taught him this lesson. “the child is the father of the man,” wrote English poet Wordsworth. The child is to the man, as a caterpillar is to butterfly, and as the seed is to the fruit of the tree; the man will become whatever we feed the child. This is why when a woman decides on the man who will be the first gift that she will present to her child, she should make sure that this gift of a father won’t be the first and worst gift of his life.