Is love a choice, an emotional whim that comes and goes with the seasons of life? I have asked myself this question for many years; I have come to realize that it is not loved that comes and goes, it is our idea of love that comes and goes. It is innately human to love the idea of love, the problem is that we tend to fall in love with the idea of love even before we have experienced the reality of it. Being that our idea of love proceeds with our experience of it, we became lovers of fantasy that romanticized love but become blinded to the reality of it. We have romanticized love to the point that we have disassociated it from the struggles of life and this gave birth to romantic love. A love that is seasoned with reasons but when the reasons for this love no longer exist, it loses its flavor. A love that chases the rainbow experiences of life but turns it backs and flees when the clouds of darkening appear; and a love that loves the idea of love more than the actuality of it. It had become clear to me that this romantic love only dances to the sweet music of life, but when the music of life changes its tune and start to play the blues, this love we will most definitely lose. True love dances to any music that life decides to play, whether it be the sweetest music of life or the saddest of blues. It does not leave its lover on the dance floor of life simply because the music of life is not soothing to its ears and requires it to change the rhythm of its joyous dance so that it can adapt to the rhythm of the blues. This is why the Hausa people tell us ” when the music changes, so do the dance.”
True love is not emotionally fragile nor does it loses heart in the face of adversities. There is nothing in life that had made more sacrifices than it, sacrifice is the heartbeat of love that keeps it alive, so he who is not willing to sacrifice what he loves for who he loves is not ready nor prepare to truly love. True love has no back to turn nor feet to flee in times of trouble and times of needs, with unfailing love it faces and shares in the pain of the one who it loves. I have made myself a stranger to the love that is a foreigner to my pain because it has no truth in its soul; if love is present when my pain is absent, but absent when my pain is present, then I do not want anything to do with this love. The cost of love changes as the season of life changes, it is relatively cheap in the rainbow season of life when everything is going right but its cost increases when the rainbow disappears and the stormy clouds appear; When someone is willing to sacrifice his or her happiness, comfort, and peace for us… behold we have discovered true love. Like a lonely cactus plant in the midst of a desert, love is the oasis in the midst of suffering that wraps its comforting arms around its broken lover. There will come a point in our journey when we will come upon a fork in the road of life, where one path leads to our happiness while the other leads us away from it and towards the suffering of the one who we love, here we will have to choose which path to take. Though the path that is gilded with happiness will be excitingly awaiting the radiant ambiance of love to coordinate its joy, it will be greatly disappointed and its waiting will be in vain because true love will always choose the path where its lover awaits even if that path takes it through a journey of pain. Sometimes in life, one has to divorce and wave goodbye to his or her happiness in order to blossom in the bosom of true love. The greatest love in life will not be found in what we give to each other but rather what we share with each other, to share in each other pain is the greatest love of all. This love is tattooed on our hearts so whenever our heartbeats it will play us the music of this indelible love.