Mental silence: on the road of self discovery.

As a youth, I had always wonder how does one discern what was true from what was not, I did not know what the truth was but I intuitively felt that something was amiss with that which I was being taught. I was eager to find out the truth of life, so I studied the bible from beginning to end on many occasions but doing so did not bring me any closer to knowing the truth. My curiosity drove me to study the teachings of Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Islam, yet the truth still evaded me. My mind was being baptist with unanswerable questions. I tried to seek answers in the Church, but on one occasion I went to a church and asked questions that were deemed unanswerable questions that should not be asked, so I was booted out of the Church by an angered elder. It had became cleared to me that I would not find the answers to my questions through religion, I could not rest my mind on the pillow of beliefs any longer. This pillow is for the man who wants to be rocked to sleep but I wanted to be awake. I am naturally curious, so I made questioning everything my daily ritual, the questioning of life became my religion. I fell in love with the art of questioning so much that I could not have a conversation without questioning others about their view on life. Once I met a man that was one of the kindness and welcoming person I had ever met. As we were conversing he divulged to me that he was an atheist, this baffled me. Because for one, he was the first atheist that I had ever met but what puzzled me the most was he was kinder and more loving than the sanctimonious religious people that I have known. How can an atheist be so kind, loving, and welcoming toward others? I asked myself. During our conversation, I said to him that if he were not an atheist, he would definitely go to heaven. Looking back I truly regretted making such an ignorant and idiotic statement, at that period in my life I was blinded by religious indoctrination. This episode caused me to seriously question the veracity of religious teachings, if this kind and loving soul could not enter heaven, then something is wrong with heaven. So instead of seeking where heaven is and how to get there; I went on the journey of self-realization, to find out who I am.

I have come to realized that believing is no substitute for knowledge, it had become clear to me that in order to know the truth of self, I had to unlearn myself, the self that was created by society. I started to clear my mind of everything that I was not certain to be true and at the end of this mental cleansing, the only thing that was left was my presence. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was present or that I was a consciously present being. This led me to meditate on this truth daily, the only truth that I knew. As the years went by with daily practice of meditation the volume of my thoughts got quieter and quieter until I met mental silence; this mental silence became my teacher — the greatest teacher I had ever met. It taught me that everything speaks in nature and the universe but not everyone listens. It taught me that humans are addicted to noise, mental noise which causes us to develop mental cataracts that blinded us from appreciating the truth that is right in front of us. Behind the veil of mental noise lies the silent unadulterated language of nature and the universe. This silence does not teach with words, like the demagogic clergymen; it teaches by allowing us to experience life without projecting our opinions or thoughts upon life. mental silence is the light that shines within the mind, but most of us are so addicted to the constant noise of the mind that we are afraid to be mentally quiet for a few minutes each day. All the great sages and prophets of the past, from Buddha, Christ, and Tehuti were mentally baptist, not with water nor with thoughts but within the silence of the mind. And it was this baptism in silence that had to awaken them to the truth of self.


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